The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
