if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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