I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
