Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
