3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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