Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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