you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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