You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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