i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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