His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize