well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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