i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
