She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
