Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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