I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
