I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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