i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize