I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
