U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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