I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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