we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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