i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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