I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
