oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
