I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
