So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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