You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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