somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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