Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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