Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize