Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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