you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
