If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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