I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
