My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A+ Viking dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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