What a fucking waste of an outfit
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
