his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
