I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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