just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
