It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
