Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
