i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
