the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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