what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
