I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize