Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
