Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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