Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
