when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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