I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
