Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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