wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
