My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
