it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize