I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I pour the whiskey from now on
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
