I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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