fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
