life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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