It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have tasted many bathrooms
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize