they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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