I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
