Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize