So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
