It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
